An Entrepreneur’s Communication Skills

Posted on July 17, 2011 by David Gass No Comments

Once my wife and I made the decision together that we were going to move forward with starting my own business, the next step was to figure out how that was going to actually work.  After all, we just had our first child who was less than six months old, just moved in to a brand new home with a large mortgage payment and I was going to be working from home for the first time ever.

My wife and I knew it was going to be a challenge.  We had to figure out where our income was going to come from, how long we were willing to let me focus on building a new business, how much money we were willing to invest in the business, who was going to cook dinners, wash dishes, take out the garbage, do the yard work, scrub the…, well, you get the idea.

At first deciding who does what in the household wasn’t simple, I’ll have to be honest.  In fact, even today it can be stressful at times.  Although what we’ve learned is the more we communicate (the bad and the good) the better our relationship is.  Some people don’t want to say anything in fear they will start a fight or hurt their spouses feelings.  Yet they dwell on the thing that is getting them upset, whether it be deciding who is going to do what chores around the house, who is putting the kids to bed, who is going to pay the bills and manage the money, or any of a number of other duties that will cause marriages trouble.

The lesson for us was to communicate and communicate often.  If you think about any relationship you had where you eventually stopped being friends or had a relationship end, you’ll typically be able to point to one common clue that there was a problem – “the frequency of communication slowed down”.  The less you talk the more of a challenge it is to keep the relationship in good standing.

We also found it very helpful to communicate the challenges I was having in the start-up business.  She wanted to know what was going on and I needed to release some frustration of how things weren’t working out the way I wanted or to have someone to celebrate successes with as well.  My wife was able to have a true interest in what I was doing and was very happy for me when things went well.  She also was understanding when things didn’t go well.  She never asked if I should look at quitting or moving to another line of work.  She always supported me and told me I can make it work.  She helped build my confidence as an entrepreneur.

When I look back at my life so far and think about why I generally have a very positive attitude and a high degree of self-confidence I know the reason is because of three individuals.  There are two different types of people, those who need to hear from someone else they are good at something and those who need to see the success for themselves and they internally know they are good because of what they did.  I tend to be the first type of person.  I like hearing from others I’m good at something and the more I hear it from different people the more I believe it myself.

The three people in my life who’ve had the biggest impact on me so far are my first boss, my college adviser in DECA and my wife.  All three are very powerful women who I look up.  All three told me I was much better then I believed I was at the time.  All three told me often how successful I was (not just how successful I was going to be someday) and all three had a strong degree of confidence in my abilities.  With such support it was tough not to believe it myself.  The common thread with all three was their ability to communicate these beliefs to me without me feeling like they were patronizing me.  I knew they truly believed in me and that made me believe in myself even more.

Once again, communication is key.  My wife has the ability to communicate how she is feeling about something and doesn’t often hold back.  Now, as an entrepreneur – that’s not always easy to listen to.    However, it’s exactly what I needed as I built my business.  I knew my wife wouldn’t hold back in her opinions or advice.  I also needed to hear the positive feedback and the encouragement.  She fulfilled all of those as I spent the the first year of start-up working from our house.

My wife went back to work the day I quit my job to start the business.  She brought home a good living for us for two years before I was in a position to bring home enough money that she could choose to quit or continue working.  In those two years I learned a lot about being a mom.  My wife had a very demanding job with with work weeks ranging from 60 – 80 hours a week depending on the time of the year.  So I was left many nights at home figuring out what I was going to make for dinner for our new born and myself, while making sure the laundry was done and grocery shopping was taken care of.  Not exactly easy while you’re building a business but it was what had to be done to keep everything going.

My wife decided after a few years to quit work and become a stay at home mother as we added to the family.   My wife like many people, likes security.  Although her father was an entrepreneur it was still tough for her to listen to me tell her we aren’t bringing home a paycheck this month because the business isn’t doing as well as I had hoped.  There were too many months that was the case.  I’ve been told by very successful start-up entrepreneurs that they too spent several years without a paycheck to build their businesses but once they started taking a paycheck they made sure they were always paid first.  I didn’t do it that way.  I don’t look at things with regret, so in this case it’s a great lesson for me for the future.  With any new business once I start paying myself I’ll make sure to continue that pay because it’s the right thing to do.  (That’s an entirely new blog post for the future-which I’ll do some day, but for now…)  Communication is key.

As you build your business or just look at your relationships think about your level of communication and the quality of that communication.  How frequently do you talk? (Really talk?, not just how was your day)  How often are you communicating your belief and confidence in the person you are speaking to (your spouse, your child, your employee – your partner?)  One conversation could be the difference for someone in how they feel about themselves, what their self-confidence looks like or who they become.

Let me know what communication skills you’ve learned over the years with your business partner, spouse, children or friends that has helped you.  Leave it in the comments section below.